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A catalogue of all the things I say to people that I think were particularly witty, awkward or hilarious in general.
"Right now it’s like a script question mark, but I want it to be more like a bold sans serif."
Me describing my own ass.
"I COULD DIG THROUGH THE CRUST OF THE EARTH AND STRAIGHT THROUGH THE EARTH’S CORE AND ALL THE WAY TO CHINA AND THEN WHEN I GET THERE I’D BE ALL FUCK YOU CHINAMEN."
I don’t know what drives me to say 98% of what comes out of my mouth.
"You only like Mike’s ‘cause it’s fruity like your personality."
"I really want a tall, beefy boyfriend because I think it would be funny for other people to look at us standing together."
